i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
