My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
birth control should be required to get into college
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
