She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
vagina is talking i cant
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
