I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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