wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
