She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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