I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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