I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
