i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
