So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
