I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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