Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
