the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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