someone get that fucking seahorse.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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