she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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