I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
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