Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
