wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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