So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
too bad you live with your parents still
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
