My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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