I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
