when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize