my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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