His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My ATM looks so different sober.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
