Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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