So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
