was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize