Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
