hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
