I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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