are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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