if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
