vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
