talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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