I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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