My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize