You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
