try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
