well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
