Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
