Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
