Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize