So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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