There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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