dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
