did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
