Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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