I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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