I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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