How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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