I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
