just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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