Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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