I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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