6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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