Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
