So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
