have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
