you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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