I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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