did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
