I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
