Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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