I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
