i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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