This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
