Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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