everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
