I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
