Joe is yelling at the trees again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
