Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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