It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
