i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
