Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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