Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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