why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
