her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
