Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
