Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
