1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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